The Psychology of People Who Eat More Than They Realize

Right now, someone you know is hiding in their car,

eating an entire sleeve of Oreos,

and they have no idea why they are doing it.

Secret eating is not about willpower, and it is not about being “bad.”

It is about something way deeper happening in your brain.

We have all been there in some form:

maybe you have eaten standing at the counter so it

“doesn’t count,” strategically timed your snack runs

for when your roommate is out,

or literally hidden food in weird places like it is contraband.

What is happening psychologically is fascinating,

and understanding it can help make sense of these behaviors.

The Cycle of Shame

Secret eating almost always starts with shame.

Shame is a monster when it comes to behavior.

The Cycle: You feel bad about your eating, so you hide it. But hiding it makes you feel worse because now you are not just eating “wrong,” you are also being deceptive. This creates more shame, which makes you want to hide even more.
The Mental Load: It is a psychological hamster wheel. Studies show that secrecy around eating actually increases the emotional distress associated with food. You are no longer just dealing with the act of eating; you are dealing with the cover-up.

Secret eating is not random;

your brain is following a very specific pattern.

Often, it develops as a rebellion.

Childhood Origins: If you grew up in a house where food was controlled (“clean your plate,” “no dessert unless you finish vegetables,” “don’t eat that, it’s bad”), your brain filed that away as: Someone else gets to decide what I eat.
Adult Autonomy: As an adult, buying your own groceries becomes an act of reclaiming autonomy. Your brain thinks, “Actually, I’m in control now.”
Reactance: However, you are not actually in control if you are hiding in your pantry at midnight. Psychologists call this Reactance: when we feel our freedom is threatened, we do the exact opposite of what we are supposed to do, even if the only person threatening that freedom anymore is ourselves.

Brain chemistry plays a massive role in why secret

eating gets its hooks in deep.

Dopamine Release: When you eat something sweet, fatty, or salty, your brain releases dopamine (the “feel-good” chemical).

The Secrecy Multiplier: Secrecy amplifies this response. The sneaking around, the thrill of getting away with it, and the relief of being alone with the food all add to the reward.

Your brain is getting a “hit” from the entire experience,

which means secret eating can become genuinely addictive

in a neurological sense.

The guilt afterward does not cancel out the dopamine;

it just ensures you will feel bad enough to need another hit later.

The solution to secret eating is counterintuitive: Make everything visible.

Eat in the Open: Eat what you want, when you want it, but do it out in the open—at a table, on a plate, with other people around if possible.
Remove the Shame: Secrecy requires shame to survive. The moment you remove the secrecy, shame starts losing its power.

Normalize Eating: Research on eating disorders shows that normalizing eating behaviors is an effective intervention. When you stop categorizing foods as “forbidden treasure,” your brain stops obsessing over them.

Every time you choose to eat that cookie at the table

instead of in your car, you are rewiring the pattern.

Visibility must be paired with honesty and self-compassion.

You must ask yourself why you are eating—are you hungry,

or are you bored, stressed, or lonely?

Your brain has been using food to solve problems

that food cannot actually solve.

Be Your Own Friend: You wouldn’t talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself about food (“I’m disgusting,” “I’m broken”). That internal criticism fuels the shame cycle.

The Power of Acceptance: Studies show that people who practice self-compassion around eating are significantly less likely to binge or eat in secret. Being able to say, “I ate a whole pizza and that’s okay, I’m human,” removes the power source of shame.