How to Network into Higher Social Classes
Networking is often misunderstood.
Common advice suggests showing up to as many events
indiscriminately as possible and handing out endless
business cards, hoping something sticks.
However, this is largely ineffective.
Trying to focus on universal appeal and being liked
by everybody is not a sound networking strategy.
At any event, about two-thirds of the people you talk
to are simply not going to click with you for reasons
entirely out of your control.
Furthermore, networking is not just about social climbing
or finding higher-class individuals.
For professionals, the goal of networking is to find genuine peers
at your level.
As you advance past the middle class,
you will not serendipitously run into people
you genuinely connect with.
Networking is the skill needed to deliberately build
those connections, whether for friendship, business,
or advancing personal goals.
The Objective of Networking
The best networking happens when you do not have
an immediate need for it.
You should network for the resources, connections,
or experiences you might need six months,
a year, or even three years from now.
When you network without a place of desperation
or neediness, you casually get to know people who could
be helpful in the future.
For instance, if you are a coder who eventually wants
to start a business, attending venture capital events allows
you to meet VCs, potential co-founders, or suppliers.
Even if you don’t need them right now,
you are building relationships that may become vital later on.
Becoming a Connector
Another key aspect of networking is acting as a resource for others.
Keep a mental record of people who can help others
with problems you cannot solve yourself.
By referring someone to a trusted professional in your network,
you are doing two things:
- Making a positive difference for the person in need.
- Providing business to a potential referral partner.
When you consistently take the initiative to help
others advance their goals, you stay top of mind,
and they will naturally want to reciprocate
and send people your way.
How to Introduce Yourself
Walking up to someone and simply handing them
a business card is off-putting.
Instead, focus on asking them about themselves and their business.
If they have genuine curiosity, they will ask you in return.
If they don’t, you save yourself the awkwardness
of trying to connect with someone who isn’t interested.
When it is your turn to share, introduce yourself
by highlighting a more interesting side
of your personality or an unconventional passion.
This serves as an excellent icebreaker,
sparking genuine interest and making the conversation
much more memorable.
After establishing a personal connection,
the conversation will naturally pivot toward
your main business or profession.
Sorting Networking Events
Not all events are worth attending.
In general, there is a correlation between
the price of an event and the crowd that shows up.
- Free or low-cost events ($10 – $40): These events attract a very variable crowd with no real barrier to entry. You will often encounter people using a “spray and pray” networking strategy or those who are just there for cheap drinks and socializing.
- Mid-tier events ($100 – $250+): At this price point, you weed out those lacking serious intent. Spending $250 is a significant barrier to entry, meaning attendees have skin in the game. This is typically the level the professional class can afford.
- High-tier events ($500 – $1,000+): These are usually attended by successful business owners or the Ivy League class. People at this level are generally there because they genuinely care about the cause or purpose of the event, and there are far fewer people trying to aggressively sell you something.
While a higher price often means a more exclusive crowd,
you cannot simply buy your way into networking in higher classes.
If you show up at expensive events without a genuine reason
to be there, you will transparently come off as a social climber.
The Importance of Authentic Affinity
You must have a genuine affinity for the group
or event you are attending.
Going to a charity function purely to hunt
for business contacts—especially if you have no real interest
in the underlying cause—often results in feeling incredibly
out of place and yields zero return on investment.
Attend functions tied to your personal ideology,
community interests, or causes you genuinely care about.
This allows you to immediately start organic conversations
about shared interests. High-agency people
are more likely to be involved in groups promoting
a cause or shared experience.
If you want to meet these types of people,
you must proactively filter the events
and groups you affiliate with.
The Long Game of Networking
Taking a long-term, high-agency approach
to networking offers several massive advantages:
- Alignment with your values: You don’t have to pretend to be someone else or waste time in uncomfortable environments.
- Authenticity: Because you are networking before you need anything, you are not hunting for immediate gains. You are playing the long game.
- Enjoyment: You will actually have fun because you are attending events that align with your genuine interests.
- Scalability: As you become more successful, your networking budget grows, allowing you to gradually access higher-stakes environments and practice your social skills along the way.
To truly make this strategy work, you must plant
your flag in a city or community and stay there.
Moving constantly puts you at a massive disadvantage
because you have to rebuild your status
and network from scratch every time.
Community building takes deliberate effort,
and it may take several years before you see real results.
People tend to overestimate what they can do in one year
but drastically underestimate what they can achieve in ten years.
