8 Signs You Are Dealing with Narcissistic Abuse

Many people are not sure whether

or not they are suffering from narcissistic abuse.

Cognitive dissonance and the confusion that goes

with abuse can have a lot to do with this.

Awareness and solutions are essential to empower you up

and out of narcissistic abuse, which can apply to absolutely

any narcissist in your life,

including a spouse, lover, family member, neighbor, or friend.

Your Relationship Is Not Kind, Caring, or Sane

Toxic relationships can be very confusing at times,

making it difficult to figure out the dynamics of the situation.

This happens because the toxic person will spin the situation

back on you, blame you, and refuse to be accountable.

If someone hurts you and is not capable of a genuine apology,

continuing to spend time with them means

they will continue to hurt you.

They will never be remorseful and will continue the same behavior.

The truth is people either have decent character, or they do not,

and you cannot change who they are.

People like this simply do not have the resources to grant

us a healthy, loving, and happy life.

Dealing With Immature Behavior and Self-Erasure

A hallmark of narcissistic relationships

is that the person gets bent out of shape on hairline triggers

that mature adults just do not get upset about.

They believe they are entitled to

and expect preferential treatment, becoming nasty, demanding,

punishing, and even explosive if they do not receive it.

There may be things that you would normally be free to talk

about to anyone, but the same topic becomes unacceptable

or risky with this particular person.

You might feel that if this person does not get their own way,

they will abandon you or threaten to leave you,

causing you to start doing things outside of your comfort

and value systems to prevent that from happening.

Feeling Angry, Disjointed, and Out of Character

It is important to examine how you feel with this person in relation

to your everyday dealings with other people.

If you know you have integrity, can listen, have empathy,

are capable of having sane conversations,

and get along with most people in your life,

yet there is this specific person who brings out the worst in you,

it is generally because your boundaries are being violated

and normal modes of human operations do not stand.

Head-Spinning Circular Arguments

The circular arguments you have make your head spin

because they go round and round on unrelated tangents

and points that make no sense.

Narcissists state how disloyal your accusations

of them are when confronted, or they argue with you

to manipulate you into something unwholesome.

You may find yourself constantly trying to prove that you

are a good person because the narcissist is regularly accusing you

of all the things that they are and do—such as lacking

integrity, love, and care for people, being unfaithful, lying,

making it all about themselves,

or using people for their own gain.

Naturally, you will be incensed and try extremely hard to prove

and convince them otherwise,

which is a deadly hook that narcissists

use to get you enmeshed with them.

If you believe that your integrity, character, well-being,

and safety are dependent on what other people think of you,

then you are highly susceptible to this behavior.

Mopping Up the Narcissist’s Messes

Being connected with a narcissist involves a lot of drama, rough edges,

and constantly looming disasters.

Narcissists usually are not good with detail, accountability,

or sensibility; they fly high seeking narcissistic supply

and acclaim with little to no thought for doing the right thing.

If your life is connected with one of these people,

it is usual that you will be paying their fines,

sorting out their messes and dramas,

and even lying for them to cover their tracks.

While you are watering their back lawn to keep it green,

your own lawn gets parched, turns brown, and dies.

This is what happens to the sensible, well-meaning,

responsible people who narcissists recruit into their lives.

By walking away from people like this, you can heal

and restart your life with self-responsibility.

Boundary Disintegration

It is extremely common for people with poor boundaries

to get involved with narcissists.

You find it difficult to speak up, stand up for yourself,

or hold boundaries with this particular person.

When you try to do so, you are often criticized, rejected,

abandoned, or punished.

As a result of that, you try to minimize the trauma

and mayhem that breaks out by giving up on trying to assert your needs,

or because you have dissolved into so many feelings

of powerlessness, helplessness,

and despair that you find yourself begging

or pleading for your boundaries to be respected.

Discovering that the narcissist has zero empathy for you

and will not comply takes you down into an

even deeper place of helplessness.

Trauma Bonding and Feeling Addicted

Perverse addiction happens with narcissists,

which is also known as trauma bonding.

You may feel manic and unable to stop trying to contact

or hook back up with a narcissist even when you know how much

you continually get hurt by doing so.

People can be horrified by how addicted

they are to someone who treats them so terribly,

which does not make logical sense.

It becomes very serious when you simply cannot talk yourself out

of actions that put you back into the situation to get hurt again.

Suffering From Severe Abuse Symptoms

Things become very serious when your emotional inner being

has been screaming out for attention,

and you have not yet pulled away to heal,

as you will start breaking down physically as well.

It is likely that anxiety, depression,

and even greater issues like fibromyalgia, adrenal issues, PTSD,

and agoraphobia start to develop.

You lose interest in the activities, people,

and self-care that used to grant you energy as the toxic person

takes up more and more of your energy and focus.

The shame and pain can become so great that you may start

hiding out from the world, lying to people, covering up,

and feeling even more isolated

in your traumatic feelings and symptoms.

There are varying degrees of narcissism,

and there are also people who can just be clueless

and selfish without necessarily being afflicted

with narcissistic personality disorder.

However, if someone in your life does not share your values

and does not care for your feelings,

then this is not a healthy relationship for you.

As soon as we try changing other people,

it is time to pull away and clarify what we need to continue.

Leaving may require losing a lot, but it allows for the greatest gain:

finally turning inwards to integrate

with ourselves so that we are in a position of wholeness,

in control of our choices, and empowered to look after ourselves

to create a happy, healthy, and truly loving life.