6 Signs Someone May Be Right For You
Should I be with this person?
This is an important question to ask ourselves
before pursuing a romantic relationship.
According to psychotherapist Annie Wright, the saying
“you’ll know when you know” isn’t always true.
In fact, it’s likely that you will experience moments of
ambivalence, boredom, and even doubt at some point
in a relationship, even if you are already with the right person.
So what are some important things you should look
out for in a partner?
According to experts,
you should be with someone who does these six things.
1. Has Integrity
In the early stages of a relationship,
it is actually not that uncommon to exaggerate our positive qualities
and want to present ourselves in the best possible light.
However, according to relationship coach Saudia Twine,
when all is said and done, you will want to be with someone
who stays true to their word and has integrity.
They don’t have to be perfect,
but it is important that they uphold the same values as you
and that their actions align with their words.
2. Listens
According to therapist Tiana Leeds,
it is important that you be with someone who values your presence
and shows it by putting in the effort to listen and be there for you.
- Do they ask how your day was and listen attentively?
- Do they pay attention to what you have to say and value your opinions?
- Do they put down their phone when talking to you or make you a priority in their life?
All of these are important signs that this person genuinely cares
about you and isn’t just interested in what you can do for them
or how the relationship serves them.
3. Gives Space
Another important green flag to look out for is if your partner
is comfortable with you spending time apart.
Allowing you both to maintain your independence
and draw healthy boundaries between the two of you is crucial,
says therapist Emily Griffin,
because it shows that they are secure in your relationship
and genuinely want what is best for you.
Understanding that there are certain aspects of your life you can
and should keep to yourself—like having your own
hobbies, passions, and careers—shows emotional maturity.
It allows you to maintain your own identities
and gain a sense of self-worth outside of your relationship.
4. Accepts You
Marriage therapist Virginia Williamson says that one
of the most important criteria in assessing whether your partner
is right for you is whether you feel comfortable around them.
- Do you feel that you can open up to this person about anything and that they wouldn’t judge you?
- Do you think they really know you, and if not, do you even want them to?
These are all important questions to ask ourselves to determine
if we are with the right person.
Psychologist Barbara Santini also notes that being able to express
ourselves freely is integral to any happy and healthy relationship.
5. Opens Up
Much like the earlier point of acceptance, disclosure needs to go
both ways for a relationship to succeed,
according to certified relationship coach Kelly Goncalves.
It is important that your partner opens up to you, too.
Being able to have deep conversations with each other about
your inmost thoughts and feelings is a good indicator
of compatibility, trust, and emotional intimacy.
Being with someone who is comfortable talking about their feelings
also makes it easier for you to resolve conflicts
constructively and communicate openly.
6. Celebrates Your Success
Much like friendships,
relationships cannot thrive when there is rivalry and resentment.
Pay close attention to how your partner reacts when you tell them
about your success, advises relationship expert Pippa Murphy.
- Do they celebrate and support you unconditionally?
- Or does it make them feel jealous, prompting them to try to put you down?
Being with someone who celebrates our success
is important for our self-esteem, encourages our personal growth,
and helps bring out the best in us.
Whatever it is you may be looking for in a partner,
the bottom line is you should be with someone
who makes you feel good about yourself, who values the relationship,
who is willing to put in the effort,
and who you enjoy spending time with.
