5 Signs You Cannot Handle a Relationship

More often than not, we can be quick to

blame someone else for the problems we face.

Why can’t they notice me more, be less narrow-minded,

or listen to the words coming out of my mouth?

But are you putting the same amount of effort on the table?

Can you be just as attentive as your partner?

The thing about relationships is you don’t just learn

how to love someone;

it’s also an experience that teaches you how to be a better person.

But if you’re not in the right mindset,

sometimes it’s worth postponing and working on yourself first.

Putting Yourself First Before Anyone Else

It’s healthy when you prioritize your health and well-being,

but there’s a difference between finding balance

and just being downright selfish.

Clinical professor Srini Pillai believes that selfish lovers

often suffer from feeling inadequate.

When they show love to someone, even if it’s just a little,

they start to worry that it’ll all be gone in no time.

Selfish lovers are deeply troubled because they aren’t self-connected.

If you take more than you give to your partner,

Pillai says it’s important to confront your own pain

and recognize the areas you need to develop in.

He also states that it’s helpful to focus your energy on hobbies

that make you feel more self-connected,

like running, journaling, or meditating.

Being Prideful and Thinking You’re Always Right

It’s important for both partners to feel heard

and understood in a relationship,

but factors such as pride can get in the way of that.

At the end of the day, is it really worth being right

if you’re going to lose someone you love?

Another reason why some people are commonly reluctant

to apologize is that they fear the other person

won’t take responsibility for their part in the conflict.

But when you sincerely apologize first

and let your partner know that you’re not proud of what you did

and will take better measures next time instead

of repeating the same mistakes, it shifts the dynamic.

It’s important not to emphasize who was right or wrong,

but rather focus on what the two of you can do to prevent

any mishaps from occurring in the future.

Always Depending on Your Partner to Make You Happy

Do you get anxious when you’re away from your partner

or generally feel lost without them?

This might be a sign of codependency.

Ask yourself if you really love your partner

or if you are just emotionally dependent on them.

Love is about appreciation, not possession.

Psychologists state that codependency stems from

a lack of self-sufficiency.

Since codependency is often rooted in your unmet

childhood needs, treatment often involves going to therapy

where you can get in touch

with the feelings you’ve buried for so long.

Talking things out will ultimately help you get better.

Once you confront those deep-rooted insecurities,

it also allows you a chance to express them to your partner.

That way, the two of you can create

a plan that helps your relationship move forward.

Expecting People to Read Your Mind

Communication is an essential part of making relationships work.

If you’re passive-aggressive

and choose not to tell your partner what’s upsetting you

for fear of creating conflict, or to test if they care about you,

is it really fair to be mad at the other person

when they don’t even have a clue?

To strengthen your communication skills,

avoid attaching blame when you make your “I” statements.

For instance, instead of saying,

“I’m upset because you never help me with the chores,”

you can say, “I’m upset and would appreciate it if you could

help me with the chores.”

That way, you can still let them know what you want

without pointing fingers, which can often cause

your partner to become defensive.

Having Commitment Issues

Commitment phobia, otherwise known as relationship anxiety,

is when you have a fear of relationships.

If you think you have this, note that it doesn’t mean you never

want to establish a long-term connection with someone.

You do, but your anxieties are getting in the way.

Many past events could have caused this,

such as witnessing your parents getting a divorce

or having an unhealthy romantic relationship.

As a result, you might hesitate to be vulnerable,

scared that the other person will either leave or disappoint you.

If this is an ongoing issue, it’s best to visit a therapist

and get insights on how to manage this phobia

while learning techniques that help you practice vulnerability.