5 Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Life
In theory, there are four primary styles of parenting,
with a fifth style proposed in recent years.
These styles range from controlling
and demanding to complete freedom,
and from cold and unresponsive to loving and receptive.
Authoritarian Parenting
Authoritarian parents are controlling and demand obedience
without considering the child’s point of view.
They believe that strict rules are important
to make a child well-behaved and fit into society.
For example, a child with authoritarian parents
is told to stop if they cry, sent to a timeout if they talk back,
and stripped of toys if they forget to do chores.
This child learns that suppressing emotions and following duties
is the only way to get through the day,
earn their parents’ love, and avoid making them upset.
While they become obedient, they are never allowed
to decide for themselves or follow intrinsic interests.
As an adult, this child often does not know what they truly want
and may begin living a life that seems perfect to their parents
and society, but leaves them unhappy on the inside.
Permissive Parenting
Permissive parents are loving but do not exert any control;
there are no rules.
They fulfill all of their child’s wishes, give them full freedom,
and never say no.
A child with permissive parents enjoys full control.
They get whatever they want, whether it is being carried
when they do not want to walk, eating ice cream
whenever they please, or playing games all night.
Because they grow up completely without borders
and do whatever they think is right,
they never learn to cope with conflict or control their emotions.
Always getting what they want makes them a bad loser,
and as they grow older,
they often act inconsiderately and do not know their limits.
Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parents are firm but loving.
They encourage independence within limits
and respect their child’s needs.
A child with authoritative parents is given freedom
within certain boundaries.
They can freely play, but must help tidy up when finished;
they can eat ice cream, but only on certain days;
and screen time is limited.
While there may be conflict, the parents listen to what the
child has to say before laying down the rules.
The child learns that while some things are difficult,
they have the support needed to get through hardships
and pursue their passions.
They learn to express their opinions bravely and act freely.
As adults, they only agree to rules after they have been
discussed and fully understood.
Neglectful Parenting
Neglectful parents are uninvolved and often uninterested in their child.
They are usually not present in their children’s lives.
A child with neglectful parents feels completely alone.
While they experience full freedom and may have plenty
of imagination, they never receive any feedback or attention.
The child quickly realizes that it does not matter
what they do because no one cares.
This lack of attention leads to a lack of trust in themselves and others.
They become insecurely attached,
unable to form healthy relationships,
and develop a negative self-image.
To stop feeling unworthy of love,
they often try not to feel anything at all.
Over-Involved (Helicopter/Snowplow) Parenting
Recently, a fifth style of parenting has been identified:
over-involved parents who are present
in every aspect of their child’s life.
- Snowplow Parents: Remove all obstacles from their kids’ path.
- Helicopter Parents: Hover about and micromanage every aspect of their child’s life.
Because these parents will not let their children do anything alone,
the children never learn to overcome challenges by themselves.
Research infers that these children dislike solving difficult problems,
lack perseverance, and may even procrastinate
in protest when something requires a lot of effort.
