What Respecting Yourself ACTUALLY Looks Like

1. Displeasing Others is Necessary

If you don’t have people who dislike you or get upset with you,

then you likely don’t respect yourself.

The Trap of People Pleasing: Teetering towards what everyone else expects or needs from you is a form of self-disrespect. The constant desire to appeal to every single person makes it impossible to prioritize your own needs.

A Practical Example: If a friend asks you to study but you know you won’t be productive with them because you’ll talk the whole time, saying “no” is an act of self-respect. While they may get upset, compromising your own productivity just to make them happy would be disrespecting yourself.
The Reality: You cannot make everyone happy. If no one is ever upset with you, it simply means you are a people pleaser.

Many of us grow up feeling the need to improve ourselves

just so we can be the person everyone likes,

the person with no enemies.

Maturity: As you mature, you realize that as long as you have consistent good intentions and are a good person at heart, the right people will come to you.
Prioritizing Respect: Caring less about how many people like you allows you to focus on respecting your own boundaries and goals.

There is a massive difference between loving yourself

and respecting yourself.

Love Without Respect: You can love what you see in the mirro,r but still self-deprecate or pick out insecurities. That is love without respect.
True Respect: Respecting yourself means you would never go to the mirror and look for flaws because you value yourself too much to do so.

The Consequence: Just because you love yourself doesn’t mean you will respect yourself, and if you don’t respect yourself, you cannot expect anyone else to respect you.

People constantly disrespecting themselves

is exactly why good things often don’t happen for them.

The Cycle of Failure: If you set a goal to work out or read, but then sleep in or go to a party instead, you have blatantly disrespected yourself.
Loss of Trust: Just as you would stop trusting a friend who constantly fails to complete important tasks, you stop trusting yourself when you fail to keep your own promises.
Motivation: A lack of motivation often stems from a lack of self-respect. You don’t believe you can do it because you have proven to yourself repeatedly that you won’t.

Respecting yourself is found in the “little things.”

Daily Habits: Staying up late when you know you shouldn’t, skipping hygiene, or missing a workout are all acts of self-disrespect.
The Haircut Example: If you would make time to cut someone else’s hair once a week because they asked, but you won’t do it for yourself, you are showing that you are not a priority.

Accountability: Laughing off a disrespectful comment because you are scared to come off as mean is a failure of self-respect. Holding people accountable is part of valuing yourself.

Loving yourself is important, but respecting yourself

is the only way you will be successful in life.

If you keep letting a people-pleasing mentality dictate your actions,

you will try to make everyone happy except yourself.

Respecting yourself means prioritizing your own needs,

keeping promises to yourself,

and accepting that not everyone will like you for it,

and that is okay.