What Nobody Tells You About Your 20s

People always think their 20s are going to be like the TV show Friends.

They expect endless good times with roommates,

living in a giant apartment in the city,

and hanging out at the local coffee shop every day.

The reality is that most people in their 20s

are struggling to figure things out.

They are emotionally volatile, broke, and drowning in college debt.

Here are the biggest lessons to learn during this decade.

1. Do Things for Future You

The most important lesson is that you shouldn’t be making decisions

for “current you”; you should focus on doing things for

“future you.”

Current you often seek immediate,

short-term comforts that don’t build anything of lasting value.

If you adjust your thinking to “what does future me want?”,

you start to delay your gratification

and move closer to your long-term goals.

More importantly, you establish trust in yourself.

When you consistently make choices that support the future you,

you build deeper self-reliance and the confidence that you are

someone who actually takes care of yourself—which is true self-love.

As Olympic weightlifter Jerzy Gregorek said,

“Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.”

If you always seek comfort,

you will train yourself to avoid problems

and become less capable of confronting difficulty.

If you face difficulty head-on, you become stronger

and accomplish more.

Small actions—like working out when you don’t feel like it,

doing your laundry, or getting your work done,

are the little bricks that build the life you want.

Every decision you make is a vote toward the type

of person you want to become.

2. Find Role Models and Mentors

Finding role models and mentors

doesn’t have to be a formal apprenticeship.

They can simply be people on the internet whose point of view

and way of life you resonate with and respect.

Curating these role models intentionally is a great way

to learn from experts around the world

and choose the influences that will shape your mind.

They say you are the average of the five people

you spend the most time with.

In the digital age, we can spend time with great authors and thinkers.

If you curate your content consumption to learn

from reputable digital role models,

you will see their knowledge, lessons,

and mindsets reflected in your life.

If you are not intentional with what you consume,

you’re going to have a bad time.

Take the time to think about what you’re consuming

and curate your information diet intentionally.

3. Do Your Most Important Task Early in the Day

Every day, there is usually one thing that, if accomplished,

would make the day a win.

For some, it is working out; for others,

it is writing or building a business.

Willpower decreases throughout the day,

so it is important to identify your most important task

and do it first thing in the morning,

before you have time to get tired, distracted,

or come up with excuses.

You might have to change your bedtime to wake up earlier

to carve out the space for this,

but if what you’re working on is truly important,

you have to make adjustments.

Win the morning, win the day.

Think about that important task that would make tomorrow a great day,

and make sure you get that done as early as possible.

4. Focus on What You Want, Not What’s in the Way

There are two types of people in the world:

people who focus on the thing they want,

and people who focus on the thing that prevents

them from getting what they want.

If you want to start a business or pursue a creative career,

there will be people who say it’s too competitive

or the chance of success is too small.

Those who focus more on the goal just go for it,

and they end up getting what they want way more often

than those who focus on the obstacle.

If you don’t take the risk, your chance of success is zero.

Focusing on what you want doesn’t remove the obstacles,

but it makes them feel smaller.

They turn into challenges to overcome instead of stop signs.

Going for something you want is acting out of strength;

avoiding something you want because you might fail

is acting out of weakness and fear.

This shift in perspective from fear to strength can make

a profound difference in your life.

Conclusion

Your 20s can be a confusing roller coaster of excitement, fun,

feeling lost, and being unsure that you’re on the right path.

The reality is that the path you’re on is the right path.

Whatever you think stands in the way becomes the way.

You cannot connect the dots looking forward;

you can only connect them looking backward.

You just have to try your best one day at a time

and trust that in the future, all of these dots will connect.

It feels uncertain at first, but eventually, with time,

you begin to see that everything happened for a reason.