How to Manipulate a Manipulator (10 psychology tricks)

I wish the world were full of good people with no hidden intentions

and only goodwill.

That someone’s kindness was not a means of manipulation,

or that someone checks up on you without asking for anything in return.

That relationships were genuine and not built on hidden benefits.

But that’s just my wish, and I realized it’s not what reality is.

The world has good people,

but it is also full of liars, manipulators, cheaters, psychopaths,

and bad people who will hurt you and make your life miserable.

You have to equip yourself

with a defense mechanism to live a peaceful life.

Here are the 10 psychology tricks:

1. The Trojan Horse

They give sudden gifts to make you owe them,

like excessive praise to hook you, or hide their flaws.

Watch out if you’re not close to them.

This happens a lot during your first

or second encounter with someone who envies you.

How to deal with it

Say no, thank them politely, talk to friends for advice,

and stick to your values. Don’t let fake kindness trick you.

Be wary if someone is suddenly kind to you

or too nice from the first encounter.

Always ask yourself: they don’t know you,

so why would they do so much for you?

2. Moving the Goalpost

They keep changing what they want, so you never win,

like a boss constantly asking for more.

It keeps you trying and them winning.

If you notice there is no endpoint to a goal or project,

just know that your CEO or boss may be manipulating you.

How to deal with it

Say no to unreasonable demands or ask for something in return,

like, “I’ll help if you help me.”

This often makes them stop because it brings accountability.

If you blindly say yes to a manipulative boss,

your mental health will suffer badly, and they won’t care much.

3. Generalization

They use one mistake to label you as bad,

like saying “You never help” after you refuse once,

just to make you feel awful about yourself.

If someone can’t accept a “no” from you,

they don’t respect your boundaries.

How to deal with it

Bring up times you helped, like “I did last week.”

Don’t let one moment define you.

Calmly challenge the lie to take back control.

4. Intimidation

They yell or threaten to scare you into doing what they want,

like pushing you to decide fast.

It’s a scary power move.

Manipulators with dominant traits often use this.

You can see through their weakness.

How to deal with it

Stay calm and repeat your answer, like “I’m busy.”

If it gets bad, leave.

Write things down, tell friends,

or communicate by text to stay safe.

5. Gaslighting

They lie to make you doubt yourself,

saying things like “That didn’t happen,”

or blaming you for their mistakes, making you feel guilty.

I suffered from this a lot

while dealing with a narcissistic brother and mother.

I also know people who suffer greatly from this in their relationships,

and it makes me sad.

How to deal with it

Trust your gut. Write down what happened, talk to friends, and say,

“I remember it differently.”

Stand up for your truth.

6. Smear Campaign

They badmouth you to friends to push you out,

like telling others they’re the victim, turning people against you.

This is used by many toxic friends and ex-lovers.

They will do everything in their power to sabotage your reputation

and make others hate you.

Be careful with whom you become friends or lovers.

How to deal with it

Know that others are being manipulated too. Set limits.

Talk to fair-minded people for support.

Protect your good name and your friendships.

Stay close to real friends who know you,

and always confront lies with the truth.

These people are cowards.

7. Projection

They blame you for their own flaws, like a liar calling you a liar,

or calling you “mean” to dodge responsibility.

Whenever they project their shadow qualities onto you,

don’t take it personally.

Realize it’s what they’re dealing with internally.

It will eventually make you laugh.

How to deal with it

Don’t believe it. Ask if it’s their issue. Say, “That’s your problem.”

This keeps them in check.

Don’t get pulled in. Stay calm.

8. Home Turf Advantage

They choose places they control, like their office,

to make you nervous while they feel powerful.

How to deal with it

Choose a neutral place like a café.

If you can’t, arrive early, get comfortable,

and engage lightly to level the field and reclaim the space.

9. Exploiting Verbal Communication

They talk fast or use big words to confuse you.

They share little but try to extract your secrets.

How to deal with it

Ask them to repeat or explain simply.

Stick to one topic. Walk away if it becomes nonsense.

This forces clarity and keeps you in control.

10. Stonewalling

They ignore you to upset you and make you chase them. It’s a control tactic.

How to deal with it

Don’t chase. Keep your dignity. Focus on your life and hobbies.

Their silence is not your fault.

Don’t react — that’s how you win.

What tricks have you seen? Share.